Editor’s note:
On Aug. 12, at the Annual Meeting of Vinalhaven Eldercare Services, Ivan Calderwood Homestead manager Maura Michael reported on the first year’s experience at the new Adult Family Care Home. Following are excepts from the report.
Usually I start off with telling everyone the latest developments or what is going on at the homestead. I wanted to be a little different tonight since our first full year is behind us!
… There are many choices people have now a days for the care of their aging parents or relatives. We are somewhat limited in what we chose, because we are an island. Everyone wants to stay on Vinalhaven … Vinalhaven is a little more fortunate than other islands to have an adult family care home on the island. Unfortunately we are limited to six, but that is six elders that can stay on Vinalhaven and receive the care they need, to a certain extent.
An adult family care home is a residential-style home where residential care services are provided for compensation. “Residential services” means services that support individual skills and abilities. We concentrate on residents keeping and sometimes improving individual skills. I think I have said many times we are not a hotel with turn down bed services; we don’t leave mints on the pillows….
Some residents come to us needing a great amount of care, and some progress to that point very quickly. This is where the challenge lies. We want everyone to get the best care and have the best quality of life until the very end. We truly believe in comfort measures and respecting what the family and the resident’s physician want for the resident. Ultimately if at all possible we always respect the residents’ wishes …
When a family has to make a choice of where to put a relative some may wonder why anyone would choose a nursing home or skilled facility over an adult family care home, or as one of our residents says, “Why would anyone want to live anywhere but Vinalhaven?” Just the fact that it is a skilled facility, that Medicare will pay for a skilled facility and the fact that we are not capable of doing certain things are strong reasons for making this choice. Families could possibly find skilled help and bring it into the home but we have a true shortage of professional people that would be able to care for special cases …
I am not going to dwell on mistakes or problems that we may have had or are having. I am going to thank the board for what I see as a successful year, because they have made a direct impact and difference in the lives of six people and in their families’, friends’ and neighbors’ lives … The task or vision that everyone has is not easily obtained, and I am not a complete believer in things just falling into place – sometimes they have to be pushed or worked into place …
I see someone who has been gone from the island for seven years come back and attend bean suppers, church services, eat a Thanksgiving and Christmas dinner in the home of his family, and see his granddaughter in her wedding gown on her wedding day. I see a person who was always very social, then hit with illness, who could have died if put in a nursing home, but because she could still interact, participate and be a part of her community she has thrived. I see a person diagnosed with Alzheimer’s but who had someone to sit with when needed, and people to be social with during meals, a person who was surrounded by care givers who knew his life story and let him be himself and made him feel secure and safe in a moment that could have been terrifying. I see a lady who otherwise might be home alone but is social and happy and maybe when only 10 people visit the home she sees it as 30 – but oh, well. But what helps me get through almost every day is a smile from a lady that I was told was going to be one of my most difficult residents. She came into the house on her 90th birthday, she was exhausted from the trip back here to Vinalhaven, but she was so happy and appreciative of a small birthday party we had for her to celebrate. Every day since then I would go and talk to her, I would hold her hand, and tell her who I was and she would always thank me and tell me how appreciative she was to go to a bean supper and go on a ride and then flash me a big smile. And just when I think this lady could not touch my heart anymore, she has a 91st birthday party. She gets all dressed up and is sitting in the living room early of course, she is so sure that no one is going to show up for her party and just then the people come pouring in and continue to come in and she plants this big smile on her face and the tears come rolling down her cheeks.
Shortly after this party we were convinced we were going to lose this lady, mostly because she convinced us she was on her way out. We thought about how sad it would be with her gone, but then thought of how happy she is and how the quality of her life definitely had improved with moving back to Vinalhaven.
I am not always present at the homestead. I do get some time off. During one of my off times the staff thought that one resident may be passing on. The night shift can be a lonely shift but faced with the fear of someone dying it is even lonelier and a little frightening. But several staff returned on their off time to support the one staff member on duty. Thankfully everything turned out for the best, but it must be something special in the air when people who don’t always get along and probably were sick of each other from working together all day come back on their own time to support another in what could have been a difficult time. And then work their normal shift the next day.
We don’t always have gushy crying times, we laugh quite a bit. We laugh at each other, we laugh at ourselves. We get mad at each other and we need our space at times.
Sometimes we overreact and say things we don’t mean, but it is forgotten the next day.
We are kind of like a family, but I guess that was what we were supposed to be like. So at least we are successful in that aspect and we will work the kinks out of the rest. And I can’t call our choices mistakes but just part of the learning process.
Contact the Ivan Calderwood Homestead at 863-9980 or by email at ivancalderwoodhomestead@foxislands.net.